An Experiment to decode a Fangirl

Just saw The Vampire Diaries and can't help but swoon over Ian Somerhalder?
Getting green with envy because Harry Styles might be dating Kendall?
Do you shoot your friends death glares when they wryly tell you that you're headed towards OCD?

You, my friend, are a fan girl. Welcome to the world of fandoms.
Here's a little experiment we've done on the clan of fangirls.

Aim: To define the inexplicable terms fan-girl and fangirling, to decipher the properties of the constituents of a fan-girl, to examine the stages in which a fan-girl develops, to get a sneak peek into the life of a fan girl and to find out how she survives, what she feeds on, how she uncovers her hidden armour at the sight of a person of an enemy fandom. All in all to dive into the minds of this apparently alien species so as to form a concrete conclusion (or try to, at least)

Procedure : Our main ploys were naturalistic and participant observation. Donning our black shades and black robes, we set out to investigate the properties of fangirls a la James Bond style. Our lives were precariously perched, for we were dealing with spontaneously combustible fangirls

Properties : 

• Devoted: Fangirls are seen to heart their fandoms. They have pledged their souls to devotion and if they ever were to betray their fandoms, they wish to cross their hearts and die.
• Envious: They tend to spend nights bawling their eyes out when their objects of devotion take an avid interest in another member of the opposite sex and start showing up with them in public, resulting in envy and murderous thoughts creeping up in the mind of the fangirl.
• Loyal: Now, you must be thinking "whoa! perhaps fangirling makes girls go all murderous and boisterous", but scratch the surface and you will know that their obsession goes on to exhibit their loyalty towards their object of obsession.
• Persuasive: They make it a point to find friends within their fandom, and when some of their comrades turn out to be not-so-crazy about their demi-gods, they take it upon themselves to bombard them with their pictures, videos, and what not. To them, they are showing their friends the path to enlightenment, bringing them close to nirvana.
• Awkward in public: Stepping out in public with a fangirl might turn out to be hazardous. Upon sighting a poster of her OOO (object of obsession henceforth), a fan-girl might explode into ear piercing screaming, chanting and happy dancing, which could result in you being politely escorted out of the place, or in more dire situations, being kicked out by the security.
• Violent: Fan-girls can sense criticism against their OOO from a mile away, so you better beware before she comes and showers you with witty comebacks and expletives. This may result in a crisis commonly known as a 'catfight', which may require external aid to douse.

Observations: 

1. Mood swings: Fangirling makes the girls high on expressing themselves explicitly, so you can find them laughing maniacally when their OOO succeeds, and in uncontrollable sobs when their OOO is tried by destiny. 
2. Self-professed obsession: A fangirl is unabashed to admit her infatuation and addiction with her OOO, not just the fact of obsession but also its magnitude, so much so that when people address her as a psychopath, she doesn't mind. 
3. Kleptomaniac tendencies: A fangirl also has a habit of sweeping the shelves of their OOO franchise stores, squeaky clean, sometimes even cutting down on grocery budgets just to have that coveted 100 dollar lamp. So next time a franchise store is robbed, you know exactly who to look for! 
4. OOO Couture: Fangirls tend to spend startling amounts of money on covering themselves with OOO objects. So, an extreme fangirl could look something like this: OOO cap, hoodies, necklace, shoes. and every inch of her room will be plastered with OOO posters. Right from her pen box to her eraser, everything will be OOO adorned. Some even go to the extent of getting OOO soap cases. 
5. Vocabulary: Fangirls also possess a limited vocabulary. While squealing and squirming 'OMG, Why is he so cute, So perf,' fangirls are also prone to cyber-stalking their OOOs, where their reaction to newly uploaded pictures goes like this: asdfghjkl. Yeah, no kidding!

Stages:

Stage1: Discovery

Yes, that moment when you realise that you just don't have control on your senses anymore because He is your OOO. Your raging hormones back the discovery for confirmation there is also a clan of the species: the shy fangirls, who are scared to admit their obsession initially, but ultimately one day all their feelings find platform after a couple glasses of vodka(no, just kidding). In reality they themselves puke out everything one day in a fit of uncontrollable urge and excitement to take part in those highly covert discussions of the fangirls' club.

Stage2: Research stage: 

You take advantage of the ease of access to Internet and newspapers et al. And congrats you have crossed a stage successfully. So, now you are researching about him as though he is the topic of your PhD thesis. The probable questions you probe for: his present relationship status, past relationships, career, age, interests, pastimes...and your most likely reactions "OMG! We have such a lot in common!"

Stage 3: Submission

In the last stage, fangirls immerse themselves in the sea of devotion, where all symptoms of denial simply evaporate as fangirls feel they just found the purpose of their existence.

Statutory warning: This post is based on personal experience of the authors. Any resemblance to real life is totally intended. If there is anyone who is offended by the post, well, too bad.

P.S. You won't find any photos of the One Direction Boys, especially Zayn Malik, because my fellow blogger couldn't coax me into liking her OOO, and although it means that I would not walk any closer to nirvana, I didn't give into her requests. :-P

Zor Se Bolo - Jai Hypocrisy Ki!

Rows of girls sit along the neatly lined rows of plates, looking forward to being revered and venerated, being put on a pedestal that equals the goddesses. They try to bask in their short lived glory, for they know that this is a far cry from what they are subjected to on a daily basis. 

India is the abode of countless deities, a majority of which are female deities. The concept of Navratra twice a year is a reminder of the fact that India takes pride in the Navdurga. The last 2 days, the nation woke up to celebrate Kanya Pujan, to celebrate being a girl, for this day, every girl is considered to be a manifestation of Durga.

 Ironic, considering the heinous treatment meted out to girls in our country on an everyday basis. Leaves me wondering, does 9 days of goddess worship negate the other 356 days of misogynism we practise?

Our older folks continue to be defensive about questioning anything remotely related to religion, since they have been conditioned to accept things at face value. But our generation likes to test the waters and decide for themselves. So, while this post might stir the hornet's nest, we proudly proclaim there is nothing wrong in thinking differently.

The portrayal of goddesses is also an agent of social construction of female expectations. Idols and images of goddesses mostly show them as the epitome of beauty, fair complexioned, well endowed and adorned with jewellery. This idyllic image of perfection further gives shape to the standards of beauty women are expected to live up to.

The general connotation of 'devi saman aurat' is not one, who like Kali, when provoked, fights for her honour and righteousness, but is characterized by an all forgiving attitude, bearing all the wrong coming her way, meekly accepting her fate. While we are acceptive of a weapon wielding goddess, we are uncomfortable with the notion of a fiercely independent and power yielding woman. There exists a wide gap between what we venerate in mythology and what we seem to practise in the realm of real life.

 The Indian system of marriage is so quintessentially a despicable arrangement, each ritual comprising it is abhorrent in that the girl's family goes through an unspeakable ordeal. So, while you call your bride "ghar ki lakshmi", we know you are making a surreptitious reference to the dowry that she brings in, why on earth are you spending extra efforts and mind on concealing your true diabolic intentions? 

 Meanwhile, our society boasts of being modernised, yet the matrimonial advertisements demand brides who will couple up as a working woman and a homemaker. We still read a plethora of news reports everyday about how girls are harassed, burnt, even murdered for the sake of dowry. In this era of social awareness, we can certainly no longer be insouciant or negligent of what’s eating up our moral and social fibre. We don't want a superficial, pretentious, morally depraved society, do we?

The 15 minutes of respect endowed upon the girls end even before they could sink in. With the submersion of the idol, we seem to drown our reverence towards females as well. Let’s not limit celebrating female power to 9 days, let’s take it upon ourselves to make it last longer.

Delhi... where S#!T happens

6 issues pertaining to Delhi which trouble me

     1)     Travelling Rajni style   

      Though the Delhi Metro has been the saving grace of Delhi’s public transportation, there are areas which still don’t fall under the ambit of metro connectivity. In order to travel to these areas, Delhites have to rely on other means of transport like DTC buses a.k.a ‘thoda adjust karna’ and the autos which will give you a detour of everyplace except the one you want to reach, taking the longest route possible. No DTC bus ride can be devoid of masses of people almost falling out of the bus, and those who are safely lodged inside trying to nudge or even grope you. Try claiming your right to sit on the designated ‘ladies seats ‘and you will be met with sulking faces, reluctantly sacrificing their seats but not without muttering questions about the need for such seats. Sure, if we see the day the XY chromosome could keep their hands to themselves, we will do away with the seats.
The ‘autowallahs’ of Delhi are known for charging obnoxiously exorbitant fares, and don’t even get me started on the tampered meters these autos have. And who can forget the lopsided wicked grins they flash when you approach them during wee hours.

     2)  Blame game

       The roads are filthy? Blame it on the inefficient municipality. The increase in crime rate? Attribute it to the inefficiency of the cops. But hey, between these two, there lies an ‘us’. How about question it sometime too? Our society is a victim of constant blame games. Stop for a moment, and peep into your own conscience. our whole system is marred by name-calling. A volley of expletives is thrown at the slightest provocation. And yeah, this is a subtle hint to my neighbourhood wali aunty not to empty her trash in front of the building and then blame it on the stray dog. So much for blame games, I tell you.

3.      Baap ka naam toh suna hi hoga?

      Nahi suna.  Seems like your PA forgot to sound the bugle and announce the news of your arrival on Earth, Mr. enjoying-life-off-daddy’s-money. While in other countries people carry their ID cards for various purposes, Delhites seem to only carry ‘baap ka naam’ wherever they go- club parties, police stations, colleges, et al. Seems like we’ve invented a nice one-liner there. Even when the rich and powerful break the law, they seem to have immunity against the repercussions that would befall an ordinary citizen. 

4.       Being a woman in Delhi.

      Enough said:  Being a woman in Delhi ain’t easy. We should only travel in the female coaches of the Metro, be home by eight in the evening, never step out on the roads wearing dresses or shorts because apparently they are provocative- you get the drift. They should just start handing out pamphlets with survival tips for females in Delhi. And once they are done with that, they should make one for the ‘Creep-os’ too, who forget where our face is.  Yeh Dilli hai mere yaar.

5.       Ye naarebaazi band karo, kuch nahi hoga isse  

      They say, the onus for bringing about a revolution lies on the youth. I say, atleast let them do that the way they want. When the youth turns out in large numbers to protest, they are greeted with teargas, barricades and lathicharges. For being the largest democracy in the world, we sure are protest intolerant. There goes the largest youth population to a waste.

6.       We will judge you, we will stare at you

     While making life out of living in a tough metropolis that Delhi is, is in itself a daunting task, there are plenty of people to make the road ahead more difficult for you. So, are you wearing shorts? They’ll rechristen you as a slut. You’re seen chatting with a friend from the other sex, we’ll judge you. Even for something as trivial as carrying a sling bag, people will judge you. And as far as staring you unabashedly is concerned, there is a simple rule: have eyes, will stare. While someone staring you may make you uncomfortable, you might even be led to wonder if there is something wrong with you only.