An Experiment to decode a Fangirl

Just saw The Vampire Diaries and can't help but swoon over Ian Somerhalder?
Getting green with envy because Harry Styles might be dating Kendall?
Do you shoot your friends death glares when they wryly tell you that you're headed towards OCD?

You, my friend, are a fan girl. Welcome to the world of fandoms.
Here's a little experiment we've done on the clan of fangirls.

Aim: To define the inexplicable terms fan-girl and fangirling, to decipher the properties of the constituents of a fan-girl, to examine the stages in which a fan-girl develops, to get a sneak peek into the life of a fan girl and to find out how she survives, what she feeds on, how she uncovers her hidden armour at the sight of a person of an enemy fandom. All in all to dive into the minds of this apparently alien species so as to form a concrete conclusion (or try to, at least)

Procedure : Our main ploys were naturalistic and participant observation. Donning our black shades and black robes, we set out to investigate the properties of fangirls a la James Bond style. Our lives were precariously perched, for we were dealing with spontaneously combustible fangirls

Properties : 

• Devoted: Fangirls are seen to heart their fandoms. They have pledged their souls to devotion and if they ever were to betray their fandoms, they wish to cross their hearts and die.
• Envious: They tend to spend nights bawling their eyes out when their objects of devotion take an avid interest in another member of the opposite sex and start showing up with them in public, resulting in envy and murderous thoughts creeping up in the mind of the fangirl.
• Loyal: Now, you must be thinking "whoa! perhaps fangirling makes girls go all murderous and boisterous", but scratch the surface and you will know that their obsession goes on to exhibit their loyalty towards their object of obsession.
• Persuasive: They make it a point to find friends within their fandom, and when some of their comrades turn out to be not-so-crazy about their demi-gods, they take it upon themselves to bombard them with their pictures, videos, and what not. To them, they are showing their friends the path to enlightenment, bringing them close to nirvana.
• Awkward in public: Stepping out in public with a fangirl might turn out to be hazardous. Upon sighting a poster of her OOO (object of obsession henceforth), a fan-girl might explode into ear piercing screaming, chanting and happy dancing, which could result in you being politely escorted out of the place, or in more dire situations, being kicked out by the security.
• Violent: Fan-girls can sense criticism against their OOO from a mile away, so you better beware before she comes and showers you with witty comebacks and expletives. This may result in a crisis commonly known as a 'catfight', which may require external aid to douse.

Observations: 

1. Mood swings: Fangirling makes the girls high on expressing themselves explicitly, so you can find them laughing maniacally when their OOO succeeds, and in uncontrollable sobs when their OOO is tried by destiny. 
2. Self-professed obsession: A fangirl is unabashed to admit her infatuation and addiction with her OOO, not just the fact of obsession but also its magnitude, so much so that when people address her as a psychopath, she doesn't mind. 
3. Kleptomaniac tendencies: A fangirl also has a habit of sweeping the shelves of their OOO franchise stores, squeaky clean, sometimes even cutting down on grocery budgets just to have that coveted 100 dollar lamp. So next time a franchise store is robbed, you know exactly who to look for! 
4. OOO Couture: Fangirls tend to spend startling amounts of money on covering themselves with OOO objects. So, an extreme fangirl could look something like this: OOO cap, hoodies, necklace, shoes. and every inch of her room will be plastered with OOO posters. Right from her pen box to her eraser, everything will be OOO adorned. Some even go to the extent of getting OOO soap cases. 
5. Vocabulary: Fangirls also possess a limited vocabulary. While squealing and squirming 'OMG, Why is he so cute, So perf,' fangirls are also prone to cyber-stalking their OOOs, where their reaction to newly uploaded pictures goes like this: asdfghjkl. Yeah, no kidding!

Stages:

Stage1: Discovery

Yes, that moment when you realise that you just don't have control on your senses anymore because He is your OOO. Your raging hormones back the discovery for confirmation there is also a clan of the species: the shy fangirls, who are scared to admit their obsession initially, but ultimately one day all their feelings find platform after a couple glasses of vodka(no, just kidding). In reality they themselves puke out everything one day in a fit of uncontrollable urge and excitement to take part in those highly covert discussions of the fangirls' club.

Stage2: Research stage: 

You take advantage of the ease of access to Internet and newspapers et al. And congrats you have crossed a stage successfully. So, now you are researching about him as though he is the topic of your PhD thesis. The probable questions you probe for: his present relationship status, past relationships, career, age, interests, pastimes...and your most likely reactions "OMG! We have such a lot in common!"

Stage 3: Submission

In the last stage, fangirls immerse themselves in the sea of devotion, where all symptoms of denial simply evaporate as fangirls feel they just found the purpose of their existence.

Statutory warning: This post is based on personal experience of the authors. Any resemblance to real life is totally intended. If there is anyone who is offended by the post, well, too bad.

P.S. You won't find any photos of the One Direction Boys, especially Zayn Malik, because my fellow blogger couldn't coax me into liking her OOO, and although it means that I would not walk any closer to nirvana, I didn't give into her requests. :-P