What the fudge is wrong with us?

Over-speeding and saw a cop? There go a string of cuss words. 

Accidently walked into someone while whatsapping your girlfriend? Here come more such words your way, sire! 

The shlokas and quotes which were revered and taught to the kids by the elders, extolling patience and pure speech, have just been murdered by the present generations. You are cordially invited to its burial.

So why is beep becoming the new buzz word? What the fudge is wrong with us?

Because we love throwing up a volley of expletives, we love Sholay and Delhi Belly because of their expletives-ridden dialogues. So next time while travelling in the metro, when you get f*** up because the aunty sitting next to you is a b****, or worse, if you don’t get a seat and the driver just couldn’t drive better, don’t be amazed if the girl/boy next to u screams words like **** to show angst as if that’s patriotism. 

Today, we live in a world, where people are more proficient in sarcasm and profanity, than the language itself. While I'm not so much against rhetoric sarcasm, scratch that, I worship it, but the usage of the latter spells serious trouble.

Swearing has become like second nature to us. It flows as unintentionally and smoothly out of our mouths as once the words of the Morning Prayer used to. While, in our defence, we grew up in such a 'culture', it still doesn't justify the verbal vomit we subject others to.

These words and phrases have become as ubiquitous as once plastic was, and we can’t help but imagine that these phrases would deem plastic bags their role models, and would soon be wiped out, meeting the same fate as them Only, that would remain a far-fetched dream, for, even if we try to rid ourselves of them, they would only come back crawling into our lives via others, just like the plastic bags did.

Oh crap! damnit! f*** ! Bugging $h!T!!!!! So how do we handle such a sordid state of affairs? Let us begin by peeping into the causes, the instigators, which provoke us into this apparently unscrupulous habit.

1. The virtue of patience, has become virtually non-existent amongst the Gen Y. Speaking five sentences sans any profanity is a like a tremendous feat for people our age. Whenever you are stuck in a traffic snarl, it isn’t an uncommon sight to see people hurling abuses at each other, as if each swear word would miraculously eliminate the long rows of vehicles in front of you. We forgot, in a way it does too, because after your skirmish turns into a brawl and you end up injured, you get a special treatment, far above from the crowd, the swarm of people who did not give in to the temptation, because everyone gives way to a police van, you know.

2. While swearing catches on with the teens as a sign of how 'kewl' they are, may I politely remind you that your definition of 'kewl' is severely distorted and delusional?

So, if you are travelling with your friends, it is absolutely undesirable of you to remain quiet when you should actually have bathed the person in front of you with a bout of expletives if for no other reason than to gain popular approval you know. Swearing is somewhat in trend, much like the prêt fashion. It’s the "in thing" these days.

Let’s take a moment of silence to commemorate the long forgotten use of etiquettes and formal language. RIP. Or now, we might just think of it as 'Rest in profanity’.

Given that it is such a despicable, abhorrent practice is no ground to dismiss it, because hilarious as it may sound, this trend is here to stay, and just like the changing fashions each spring, the words might change, however just like yellow colour would forever continue to be associated with spring, this profanity is not abandoning this cursed (or cussed) land anytime soon.

We, the Gen Y, are the fire-fighters. But mind you, we don’t fight fire, we fight with fire as a weapon, fire of hot as hell words coming out from our hot-heads

And while everyone gets engulfed in this fire, there is a rising need to develop a liquid which can help douse it. But we need to make sure, the liquid is not itself a repository of bittersweet words, which we have come to "accept" and are "fine" with.

Delhi... where S#!T happens

6 issues pertaining to Delhi which trouble me

     1)     Travelling Rajni style   

      Though the Delhi Metro has been the saving grace of Delhi’s public transportation, there are areas which still don’t fall under the ambit of metro connectivity. In order to travel to these areas, Delhites have to rely on other means of transport like DTC buses a.k.a ‘thoda adjust karna’ and the autos which will give you a detour of everyplace except the one you want to reach, taking the longest route possible. No DTC bus ride can be devoid of masses of people almost falling out of the bus, and those who are safely lodged inside trying to nudge or even grope you. Try claiming your right to sit on the designated ‘ladies seats ‘and you will be met with sulking faces, reluctantly sacrificing their seats but not without muttering questions about the need for such seats. Sure, if we see the day the XY chromosome could keep their hands to themselves, we will do away with the seats.
The ‘autowallahs’ of Delhi are known for charging obnoxiously exorbitant fares, and don’t even get me started on the tampered meters these autos have. And who can forget the lopsided wicked grins they flash when you approach them during wee hours.

     2)  Blame game

       The roads are filthy? Blame it on the inefficient municipality. The increase in crime rate? Attribute it to the inefficiency of the cops. But hey, between these two, there lies an ‘us’. How about question it sometime too? Our society is a victim of constant blame games. Stop for a moment, and peep into your own conscience. our whole system is marred by name-calling. A volley of expletives is thrown at the slightest provocation. And yeah, this is a subtle hint to my neighbourhood wali aunty not to empty her trash in front of the building and then blame it on the stray dog. So much for blame games, I tell you.

3.      Baap ka naam toh suna hi hoga?

      Nahi suna.  Seems like your PA forgot to sound the bugle and announce the news of your arrival on Earth, Mr. enjoying-life-off-daddy’s-money. While in other countries people carry their ID cards for various purposes, Delhites seem to only carry ‘baap ka naam’ wherever they go- club parties, police stations, colleges, et al. Seems like we’ve invented a nice one-liner there. Even when the rich and powerful break the law, they seem to have immunity against the repercussions that would befall an ordinary citizen. 

4.       Being a woman in Delhi.

      Enough said:  Being a woman in Delhi ain’t easy. We should only travel in the female coaches of the Metro, be home by eight in the evening, never step out on the roads wearing dresses or shorts because apparently they are provocative- you get the drift. They should just start handing out pamphlets with survival tips for females in Delhi. And once they are done with that, they should make one for the ‘Creep-os’ too, who forget where our face is.  Yeh Dilli hai mere yaar.

5.       Ye naarebaazi band karo, kuch nahi hoga isse  

      They say, the onus for bringing about a revolution lies on the youth. I say, atleast let them do that the way they want. When the youth turns out in large numbers to protest, they are greeted with teargas, barricades and lathicharges. For being the largest democracy in the world, we sure are protest intolerant. There goes the largest youth population to a waste.

6.       We will judge you, we will stare at you

     While making life out of living in a tough metropolis that Delhi is, is in itself a daunting task, there are plenty of people to make the road ahead more difficult for you. So, are you wearing shorts? They’ll rechristen you as a slut. You’re seen chatting with a friend from the other sex, we’ll judge you. Even for something as trivial as carrying a sling bag, people will judge you. And as far as staring you unabashedly is concerned, there is a simple rule: have eyes, will stare. While someone staring you may make you uncomfortable, you might even be led to wonder if there is something wrong with you only.