Delhi... where S#!T happens

6 issues pertaining to Delhi which trouble me

     1)     Travelling Rajni style   

      Though the Delhi Metro has been the saving grace of Delhi’s public transportation, there are areas which still don’t fall under the ambit of metro connectivity. In order to travel to these areas, Delhites have to rely on other means of transport like DTC buses a.k.a ‘thoda adjust karna’ and the autos which will give you a detour of everyplace except the one you want to reach, taking the longest route possible. No DTC bus ride can be devoid of masses of people almost falling out of the bus, and those who are safely lodged inside trying to nudge or even grope you. Try claiming your right to sit on the designated ‘ladies seats ‘and you will be met with sulking faces, reluctantly sacrificing their seats but not without muttering questions about the need for such seats. Sure, if we see the day the XY chromosome could keep their hands to themselves, we will do away with the seats.
The ‘autowallahs’ of Delhi are known for charging obnoxiously exorbitant fares, and don’t even get me started on the tampered meters these autos have. And who can forget the lopsided wicked grins they flash when you approach them during wee hours.

     2)  Blame game

       The roads are filthy? Blame it on the inefficient municipality. The increase in crime rate? Attribute it to the inefficiency of the cops. But hey, between these two, there lies an ‘us’. How about question it sometime too? Our society is a victim of constant blame games. Stop for a moment, and peep into your own conscience. our whole system is marred by name-calling. A volley of expletives is thrown at the slightest provocation. And yeah, this is a subtle hint to my neighbourhood wali aunty not to empty her trash in front of the building and then blame it on the stray dog. So much for blame games, I tell you.

3.      Baap ka naam toh suna hi hoga?

      Nahi suna.  Seems like your PA forgot to sound the bugle and announce the news of your arrival on Earth, Mr. enjoying-life-off-daddy’s-money. While in other countries people carry their ID cards for various purposes, Delhites seem to only carry ‘baap ka naam’ wherever they go- club parties, police stations, colleges, et al. Seems like we’ve invented a nice one-liner there. Even when the rich and powerful break the law, they seem to have immunity against the repercussions that would befall an ordinary citizen. 

4.       Being a woman in Delhi.

      Enough said:  Being a woman in Delhi ain’t easy. We should only travel in the female coaches of the Metro, be home by eight in the evening, never step out on the roads wearing dresses or shorts because apparently they are provocative- you get the drift. They should just start handing out pamphlets with survival tips for females in Delhi. And once they are done with that, they should make one for the ‘Creep-os’ too, who forget where our face is.  Yeh Dilli hai mere yaar.

5.       Ye naarebaazi band karo, kuch nahi hoga isse  

      They say, the onus for bringing about a revolution lies on the youth. I say, atleast let them do that the way they want. When the youth turns out in large numbers to protest, they are greeted with teargas, barricades and lathicharges. For being the largest democracy in the world, we sure are protest intolerant. There goes the largest youth population to a waste.

6.       We will judge you, we will stare at you

     While making life out of living in a tough metropolis that Delhi is, is in itself a daunting task, there are plenty of people to make the road ahead more difficult for you. So, are you wearing shorts? They’ll rechristen you as a slut. You’re seen chatting with a friend from the other sex, we’ll judge you. Even for something as trivial as carrying a sling bag, people will judge you. And as far as staring you unabashedly is concerned, there is a simple rule: have eyes, will stare. While someone staring you may make you uncomfortable, you might even be led to wonder if there is something wrong with you only.

Author contributor: Geetika Ahuja